OMG. Fucking Koman Coulibaly. His name and face are burned into my memory. If I ever see him walking down the street, I will run over, ask him what the fuck he was looking at, punch him in the face, and ask if he saw my foul. I may or may not do it in that order. I may also punch him more than once depending on his answer. Seriously, the dude needs to choke on his whistle and spend the rest of his life making a whistling sound whenever he tries to talk or breathe.

See? This is how soccer riots get started!

Anyway, on to today’s games. Please note that this is likely not the last you’ve heard of my ranting about Mr. Coulibaly. In fact, I’m going to add the spelling of his name to my spell checker’s dictionary because I think I shall be using it often. Most likely as a curse. That fucker.

Right, right, the games. So here’s my fake liveblogging notes on today’s games. I’m still working on getting StatusNet up and running for my real liveblogging updates. That should be done in a day or so. Anyway, enjoy!

Germany vs Serbia:
• We’re only a few minutes in and its already a pretty lively game. Germany has had a couple of good looks at goal. If they keep this kind of pressure up, they’ll do to Serbia the same thing they did to Australia.
• A yellow card for each side already and we’re like 18 minutes in. And as I type this Serbia just got yet another yellow. None of these cards seem deserved. This is some poor officiating and is really going to damage the quality of the game. OMG yellow card #4, this time on Germany, but this one actually looks to be the first legit yellow issued.
• Holy fucking shit. The card happy official hasn’t stopped his yellow card assault on either team and he just gave Klose his 2nd undeserved yellow, putting Germany a man down the rest of the game. Serbia’s response? Scoring a goal literally seconds later. Worst officiated game of the tournament to date.
• An exciting play at the Serbian goal by the Germans lead to two almost goals, but the crossbar foiled the best of the two shots. The second was intercepted by the Serbian defense.
  I wonder how many players will end up being ejected. The yellow cards are being given out like candy on Halloween.
• Germany isn’t playing like they’re down a man their assault on the Serbian goal continues unabated.
• Germany earns a penalty kick on a foolish Serbian handball, but isn’t able to capitalize on the kick or the rebound.
• The crossbar is a hell of a goalkeeper as it just stopped another shot on goal, this time a header from Serbia.
• This ref is hobbling both teams for not only this game, but the next as well, since getting a yellow in 2 consecutive games leads to a 1 game suspension. Both teams are going to be overly cautious in their third group game, I think.
• Did FIFA get bought out or receive heavy sponsorship funding from the Pope or something? Almost every player coming on as a substitution in this tournament has crossed themselves as they come on. I don’t remember that from the last World Cup.
• Germany unable to produce a goal, but not for lack of trying. A surprising result of a 1-0 Serbian win.

USA vs Slovenia:
• A quick injury in the opening seconds with an accidental collision between opposing players. The Slovenian player got the worst of it and there was some question of a yellow on the play, but the referee let it go. Intense opening moments!
• OK seriously? 14 minutes in and the US already gives up a goal? Its the second game in a row they’re done that and its highly disappointing. The commentators mentioned that the US is 0-15-3 when they give up the first goal.
• Three very close almost goals for the US, but no joy yet. We’re showing some life, but as I was typing this, we gave up another goal. There was some talk of a possible offsides, but the replay showed it was good. To add insult to injury, we got a yellow card that was totally unjustified on the second of our three quick attempts. Going into the half, we look like we’re done. 🙁
• OMG AWESOME! Landon Donovan makes an amazing goal to bring the US back into this game! What a wicked goal! It was streaking in so hard that even the goalkeeper backed away from it. We almost got a second goal off of a free kick, but it went just a touch wide. If we can keep the pressure on, we can pull a draw, or dare I say even win this.
• Its about damn time a call goes our way. Can we make the free kick…? It was close, but no.
• OMG WHAT AN AMAZING GOAL! Damn, that was just what we needed! So awesome, just so damn awesome.
• Holy shit, we just had our game winner taken from us by a bad offside call on us while one of our players is literally being bear hugged by the opposition and another is damn near in a headlock! There have been some really bad calls this game.
• WTF players from both sides go down and don’t get up and the ref says play on?! This guy needs to be choked with his own whistle.
• The game ends in a draw after a bit of highway robbery by the ref. What a game and what an asshole of a ref.

Algeria vs England:
• 25 minutes in and its pretty dull so far. No terribly exciting plays for either side. There was almost a nice break as I was writing that, but it stopped almost as soon as it started. The outcome here is important given that we lost our win to the idiot referee in he US game, so a draw may not be he worst thing in the world.
• England just had a good shot on goal, but a nice save by the goalkeeper keeps it scoreless.
• A great play by England in the 32nd minute and another great save by Algeria. The game is picking up!
• No goals yet going into the half, but both teams are showing a lot more life than they did at the start. I think we’ll at least have a goal by England by the end of the game. The question is whether Algeria can fire back for the draw because I don’t think they can win.
• A lot more action from both sides, but England still has the upper hand in attempts on goal. No stupid calls by the ref, so that’s nice and refreshing.
• We’re in the closing minutes of the game and while it was a good back and forth, the commentators are fairly disappointed with England and I can’t say that I disagree. And as I type this, the game ends as a scoreless draw. It should be interesting going into the last game of the group. The US will need to win that game in order to advance. England has to be wondering why they’re not leading the group, and I’m pretty sure they’re not the only ones.

So there you have today’s games. OMG RAGEFACE! I’m so not done ranting, but it’s late and I need to get to bed. Don’t you worry (or do, as the case may be), I’m planning on expounding on the USA game this weekend. I BITE YOU THROUGH THE INTERNET IN ANGER, STUPID REFEREE!